Wish I felt the same
by watcher-ofthe-sky
Summary: "I am just giving you a run around without knowing whether there is a finish line or not." That's the problem, you see. Even if he tries, Gray Fullbuster cannot feel the same what Natsu Dragneel always felt for him. GRATSU. ONE SHOT. First fan fiction. Review please!


And when he looks at _him_ , there runs a sensation through his pale skin-The sensations that can't be fathomed. All he can wish is to change the rhythm of his heart so that it can beat for _him._ When he closes his eyes, he sees spiky salmon hair dancing with the breeze; he can see a boy with a toothy grin. It's too hard not to fall for _him._

" _If you'll be the moon then I want to be the tides. I can spend a lifetime chasing you."_

But nothing is too hard for Gray Fullbuster.

" _You are enough for me. I don't need anyone else."_

He could never understand how his defences are so strong and stubborn, that now even he can't shatter them.

The raven head teenager pulls his hair in frustration. Why can't he get _him_ out of his mind? But most importantly he thinks, why can't he like _him_ the way _he_ does?

He was surprised when Natsu told him. Of course, they were close friends since childhood and despite the constant bickering and fighting, they deeply cared for each other. But when Natsu Dragneel whom everyone thought is dense and can never indulge in any relationship or even feelings of that sort, told Gray that he likes him, he couldn't help being surprised. For the first time he saw how there was no mockery in his charcoal eyes, how he meant it when he said those words.

What makes Gray feel worse is how Natsu never forced him to reciprocate. Except for a few occasions when he joked around him and pout his face saying, "I think your ice has frozen your heart too. How can you not like me!"

He never showed the slightest pain of rejection. His recklessness and carefree nature carefully shielded his agony.

Yes, Gray Fullbuster rejected him.

In the time that followed, guilt started embedding his bones but, in his defence, he couldn't help it. It was not that he ever really liked someone else, though he had a little crush on Erza when he was young, he never experienced anything other than that and that's why he didn't show any interest in Juvia either. He never felt guilty for saying no to her but with Natsu it was different.

He saw a change in him. The dragon slayer showed another side of him which was gentle. Although he was cheery and was always ready to fight as usual, he displayed private tenderness for the ice wizard. The smile was warmer and kinder, and he even became protective. Gray couldn't believe that it's the same person that he had known all these years. All that affection was _**just**_ for him. For _**Gray**_.

But why did he turn _him_ down then?

The answer was complicated. He cannot comprehend his own feelings and therefore he didn't want to dupe Natsu. He always had a special place for him in his heart, their bond was _different._ But what kind of _difference_? He cannot do this.

 _"He deserves better."_ Gray told himself.

As leaves altered their colours, things slowed down. To the ice mage's relief, the fire breather moved on. He dated few girls in the guild, including Lucy.

But what about Gray?

He always kept a part of that period with him, like a souvenir.

Until one day he finds out that Natsu Dragneel never took a step forward. He still likes him.

 _Argh..._

Somewhere along in the pale skinned boy's heart, a moth fluttered his wings

with _happiness_.

Or should we frame it like this-

with _happiness?_

It was too much for him to handle. He was messed up.

Coming back to the present scene, he looks at the sky which is now painted with hues of evening. He ponders how with a perfection of an artist, the pale-yellow blends with orange that tints with the scarlet at last. He wonders how everything is a blend, how nothing is concrete like black and white. He wishes a firmness, an absolution in the world of his bizarre emotions.

He stares at the yonder again and notices how the pink adds beauty to this sky. Pink. _Pink_. _**Pink.**_ Like _his_ hair is.

He lets out an exhausted sigh.

"Hey, ice princess! A snow storm will come. Don't breathe out that loud."

Gray looked behind and saw Natsu coming. He sat down and slanged his arm around his shoulder.

"What's your problem flame brain? I have told you to not call me that." said Gray annoyedly.

"I can't help it." Natsu said battling his eye lashes, " You're a beautiful princess, after all."

To this, the rose head received a punch on this shoulder and he laughed.

The ice mage couldn't help but chuckle at this boy. His laughter was infectious.

"But Gray."

"Yeah?"

"I mean it."

"What?"

"You're beautiful."

Natsu felt a shift in the atmosphere. He smiled seeing from the corner of his eye that Gray blushed a little.

 _Oh, how much I like him. I can stare him all day._

"Natsu..."

"Yes, Gray?"

"I think you should move on. It isn't fair for you."

"It's my wish to stay like this. You don't have to feel guilty. It isn't your fault."

"You don't get it!" Gray said. Frustration and sadness were evident in his voice. He continued, "You moved on already. Why did you come back?"

Cold wind blew on their face. The sun was setting down and everything started to turn dark around them.

Natsu held his scarf and said, "Because I couldn't lie to myself anymore. I thought I can forget you, but I can't. Whenever I see you I want to hold you in my arms, I want to sit down and talk to you all day. I want to fight and argue over the silliest things, I want to see your smile and fall for you all over again. "

Gray looked down at his feet and cursed himself. Why does things have to turn out this way?

"This is the reason why I broke up with Lucy. She is a nice girl and I couldn't do this to her. The funny thing this, when I told her that I still have feelings for you, she smiled and told that she knew. She said how when she looked at me, all she could see was your name written on my face. " Natsu said with a laugh.

"I'm not blaming you, popsicle. It's fine if you don't feel the same for me, I can never imagine how you pulled to make someone oblivious like me fall for you. "

"At first, I was sure that I don't harbour any of such emotions for you but now, I don't know, Natsu. I can't label or decipher what these sensations are. I know how it's unjustified. I am just giving you a run around without knowing whether there is a finish line or not. I don't want to give you false hope. I don't know when I'll get my shit together. I am afraid that if I do figure this all out and it might turn out that I like you too, it's going to be too late." said Gray. He was tired now. All these emotions are weighing him down.

"You know, Gray " Natsu looked up at the infinity in front of them and then turned his face towards the raven head.

Gray was staring at the ground when he felt the dragon slayer's gaze on him, he mustered the courage and looked at him. Their hands softly brushed each other.

At that time the cobalt eyes met the onyx ones, just like the sky of the dark night and the deep blue ocean in front of them.

 _Heaven and Earth don't meet._

 _They do._

 _Where?_

 _At the horizon._

Natsu leaned closer and whispered, "It will never be too late. I'll _always_ wait for _you_."


End file.
